Evolution is the method of natural development. Whether an animal or a car, we’re permanently trying to boost on the prior model. Most progress is gradual, interrupted once in a little while by a major breakthrough, like walking on two legs or ABS brakes.
Just how could it be that the people, which is obviously the surface of the food chain, still needs the best section of a year when having a baby? Especially when you consider that we usually only produce one, rather than litter, aside from eggs by the hundreds. Haven’t we advanced sufficiently by the 21st century to be able to cut this right down to less than six months?
Evidently we have not, which raises the question, why not? It would be easy to place the blame on the women. Pregnancy is their job after all. But seeing as they got this all-important role since the men couldn’t be trusted with it, we’re hardly ready to point the finger.
So what’s the clear answer? There can actually only be one logical conclusion. Pregnancy and childbirth take nine months because that’s just how long people need to select a name. Let’s face it. Other species of animals obtain the birth process over with a lot quicker because they don’t really even bother, unless they’re a Disney character.
Our history has shown us that normally it takes quite a long time to come up with a sensible name, so a baby may as well stay static in the womb until we do. In fact, there are numerous examples that suggest nine months still isn’t good enough and we have to extend it to a year. Just look at all the youngsters inventively called Junior, or Bob Smith III. It’s an admission that if three-quarters of a year, this is the best they may manage.
The very first hurdle is relatives. This is particularly true for younger parents, who tend to have more of these alive, most of whom want to be immortalized by their grandchild inheriting their name. So unless you’re having quadruplets, you’ve got a problem حوامل.You can’t even get away with giving your youngster all four names, because only it’s possible to come first and top billing counts for everything. Next is the problem of the particular names grandparents have a tendency to have. This indicates children’s names were a low priority when up against the industrial revolution and the odd World War. Who wants to end up calling their child Algernon or Gertrude?
The following problem can be your wife’s side of the family. Whether a female took her husband’s name in matrimony, she will likely want her family name to survive, therefore it becomes a child’s middle name, even if it isn’t one at all. Just ask Mary Carbunkle Jones.
The only real exception is if these people are extremely rich. If calling your daughter Ethelred Stinkpants Smith puts her to the the surface of the inheritance heap, then so be it.
Next comes the issue of pets. Not naming them, as that’s easy and they don’t really care anyway. The only real rule of thumb is to consider that you might be in the park 1 day shouting at your puppy, so names like “Fatty” and “Loser” are bad choices.
The problem is that you can’t name your youngster after having a pet. You may such as the name Max, but if an uncle had a Doberman called Max, it’s only not likely to happen. Charlie is a good choice for either gender — except when someone had a cat of exactly the same designation that got run over. It’s as if by choosing that name, you’re condemning your youngster to a fate of jumping out of a window, chasing a bird and getting hit by a truck.
If anything, choosing a name ought to be much easier now. Nowadays, almost anything is acceptable. If you can’t find a genuine name you like, then what about a state, a nation or a continent? Even a food-group will do. But despite the infinite choice, it’s amazing just how many parents mess up. They do not think how a child’s name may be changed, shortened or generally twisted into something that will scar their psyche for life. How hard was school for the likes of Jeremy Attric, Philip Ness and Frank Ukwit? Who knows, perhaps if he hadn’t been called Adolf, things would have been different.